From My Myspace Profile www.myspace.com/hauntedundies

My Blogg last week came out late for no other reason than I was being a lazy sausage. I've been trying to look at my feet lately but can't seem to see over my enormous gut which seems to be hiding my long lost and underdeveloped twin. I wish I was talking about other parts of my body but alas the only 12 inches I have to worry about is the distance between my back and my belly button. There I was happily gliding through life at a steady 58 Kilograms for 25 years and then suddenly its like I'm harbouring some kind of alien that's decided to have its relatives move in as well with no sign of them bursting out any time soon...

Why can't we get other people to exercise for us? Seriously, if it were possible someone would be raking in the big bucks for setting up a business that caters for the things people would rather not do like losing weight and jogging, or needing to pee or spending Christmas with the ones you hate...

So in case you missed it check out my Blogg from Monday - Harry Potter and The Great Maths Debate. When I wrote that title I had one of those moments where I laughed at the joke and wondered if anyone else would get it when they read it fast enough...

I've been Blogging for nearly 5 months now, trying my darnedest to get as much attention for my music as possible and every week I lap up the feed back in the same way that my dog licks my feet after I've had a shower (don't ask). But this week a bit of a land mark occasion occurred - I got my first "negative" reaction and I'm rather enthralled by it. It was from a 16 year old girl in NSW Australia who didn't like what I had to say about so called "Skanks", she wrote:

"i really take offence at this considering that the same does not apply for both sexes and after hearing your point of view I'm inclined to think that you are in fact yourself a male skank who places way too much confidence in your own intelligence. "

My own Intelligence? I have about as much faith in my own "Smarts" as I do in George W Bush being re-elected for President! I'm the guy who when my mother gave me a container of Beetroot Juice to throw out one camping trip I tried tipping it into the wind and ended up with a red Thai-dyed t-shirt and I smelt like a vegetable for the rest of the day. Once when I was being teased at School for being stupid I told the girl who was torturing me that I actually had quite a high "H.Q." and then spent that afternoon trying to figure out what was so funny! At age 12 I tried drinking a concoction of sardines, eggs, milk, salt, pepper, Tomato and Worcestershire sauce because my Best mate told me he wouldn't like me if I didn't....

... my favourite is the time my mom gave me a hard boiled egg for lunch as I was walking out the door for High School. In a hurry I put it into my pocket and forgot about it. Sadly it wasn't as hard boiled as my mother thought and when I got up after a half hour bus ride my mate said "What is that?" Pointing to the seat and my pants which were covered in a sticky poo like substance. I walked around campass that day looking like diarrhea was my latest fashion statement...

I'm not smart, only stupid enough to pretend to be. The thing is I don't believe in being something you are not. Sorry to get preachy but I reckon God made us as unique individuals for a good reason and when I see the next generation of girls busting their arses to look a certain way, to be a certain way which is perpetuated by the Paris Hilton's of the World then it really breaks my heart. I'm not much of a feminist but Women fought for centuries to gain the respect they have come into in recent decades and to see kids today putting themselves out there like meat in a butcher shop window is a bit degrading.

My critic made a valid point though... there is a male version of a skank too... I'm certainly not one of them but let me add to any girls reading this who feel forced to conform to the Hilton Brigade - those sorts of guys aren't worth the snot they sneeze at you.

I suddenly remembered a diarrhea story but then thought better of it... maybe somethings are best kept to yourself...

Anyway With that in mind DON'T FORGET my Haunted Undies Contest! If you have a camera and you like my tunes then your task is to use one of my songs to create a video for Youtube. It can be anything from a flash animation to you jumping up and down like a retarded Rhino as long as its to one or more of my tracks. Heck, it can even be you singing one of my songs! However the more creative you are then the more likely you are to win. After you have produced your video your next task is to upload it onto Youtube making sure the words "Haunted Undies" are in the title. Also each uploaded video MUST include a link or reference to my profile (this can be either in the film itself or in the films description) If there is no mention of my profile then the entry will be disqualified. Finally you are to email the link to keringedge@keringedge.com or simply message it to me via Myspace. So what do you win exactly? The top three videos that I like the most will be featured on my profile for a month. But wait there's more! Out of the top three the video that gets the most views will win 3 Autographed copies of my home made albums. Entries close on Sep 30th so get cracking!!!!

My songs can be downloaded here for free:

http://www.newgrounds.com/audio/search /author/monkeycat

Also, because I finally finished Harry Potter (And really Bummed with the ending - I was hoping Harry would declare his undying love for Draco and 19 years after defeating Voldemort end up in a Polygamous relationship with Malfoy Jnr and Gini Wesley... but you can't have it all your way I guess) Here's a link to a classic Potter Parody I found on Newgrounds.com:

http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/
238541

I'm still spending most of my time practicing the piano and scratching my butt so still nothing new from my creative cesspool of a brain but I promise there will be some stuff by Christmas if I can get some recording done!

Try not to die or anything

K

P.S. If I have nearly 2000 friends then why do I feel so lonely?